Facebook Meltdown and the Waiting Game

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by Elle on July 13, 2012

I’ve never, ever been a patient person and I feel like this IVF process is taking FOREVER to start. I’m so eager to get going and the days are dragging.

I’m supposed to get started with birth control pills at the end of August. Our doctor wanted BF to take those insanely expensive fertility vitamins for two months before we start the IVF process in the hopes that they may help his swimmers. I’m so happy to say that BF has been taking those things religiously :) I’m so proud of him!

Just shows how badly he wants this too.

Throughout our whole infertility journey, I’ve never been envious of others who sneeze and manage to get pregnant. I’ve always been the type to smile a cute little babies at the mall and enjoyed seeing my friends and family’s babies. Yesterday was a different story.

The ‘Facebook-makes-me-feel-like-shit‘ bug has officially bit me

I have this compulsion to look at people’s pictures on Facebook. Someone tagged me in an old high school photo and of course I clicked on each one of everyone’s page who was tagged.

Bit mistake. HUGE!

Eleven out of the 14 tagged had pictures of their kids on Facebook. Of the three of us who didn’t have kids yet, one was pregnant. I wanted to cry. How is it some have two or three kids already and I’m struggling just to have one?

Needless to say, last night was a very unhappy night.

I started to wonder if I left it too long, but to be honest, I can’t imagine having kids with anybody else I’ve dated. It wasn’t the right time for me and they weren’t right for me. I started to wonder if we’d even be lucky enough to have more than one child and then I wanted to slap myself for getting a head of myself… let’s just focus on having the first for now.

So I’m taking a Facebook break… a Facebook fast

I don’t know if it’s my impatience with starting IVF or what, but I’m finding myself becoming a little too Facebook sensitive right now and I’m deactivating my personal account until I at least start the IVF process. At least, then the waiting game will be a very different kind of waiting game, but I’ll feel like we’re finally getting the show on the road.

Have you had to take a Facebook Break? How did it work out?

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Gen July 13, 2012 at 11:06 pm

I absolutely hear you on this one. We’re going through it too. It’s really difficult this time around and it was super difficult the first time around. Just keep your head up, stay positive and smile. :)

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Elle July 16, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Thanks so much Gen! I can’t tell you how much better I’ve been feeling since I started my ‘FB Fast’ :)

I hope this gets easier for us all at some point and wish you lots of luck!

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